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COLLEGE PARK — Maryland Day is right around the corner, Terps! Whether it be research posters, animal shows, funnel cake, or free knick knacks, there’s something for everyone at the fair! But despite its many attractions, Maryland Day does have some shortcomings that keep some from the fun. That’s why this year, the University of Maryland has embraced a new approach to increasing engagement—spiders.

In the 2024 festivities, the tarantula exhibit was the talk of the fair, with students, teachers, and everyone in between lining up in the Plant Sciences Building to touch these fuzzy little critters. Given the massive success the exhibit was met with last year (as well as the many regretful fairgoers dissuaded by the line), campus administration has decided to increase the event’s emphasis on our favorite eight-legged friends. This year, spiders are for everyone!

“We’re really proud of what we have prepared this year,” said UMD President Darryll Pines in an official statement. “Our associates in the Entomology Department have obtained over 4,000 spiders, which will be stationed at key locations around the fair. Leftover spiders will also be released periodically at random locations, to make sure everyone gets involved in the experience.”

Some of the new exhibits coming along with this event include spider cave, spider chase, spider cornhole, pin the abdomen on the cephalothorax, spider dog fighting ring, and a tent for spider bite tattoos—done by real spiders!

“I can’t wait for the spider cave exhibit,” said excited student Ann Tomolgist. “I can’t wait to walk through a dark mass of pure spiders, and to feel their little legs crawling all down my back. I’ve heard they’ve even got some black widows and a Brazilian wandering spider in there, just to keep things fresh. I’m so excited!”

To encourage new folks to get involved with the fun, UMD administration has said they’ll be providing jars of small spiders to fairgoers. Even better, they’ll be offering five dollars to anyone who throws these spiders at anyone seen “not having enough fun.”

While online reactions to this development have been overwhelmingly positive, some isolated critics have complained about minor concerns like “arachnophobia” or “venomous bites.” In response to this internet quibbling, Pines pointed out that this would be “an excellent opportunity for Terps to conquer their phobias and stay fearless. This year, to embrace the values of UMD, you must embrace spiders.”